Thursday, January 25, 2024

Early marriage in Singapore? (Stories)

Before any of you shitting on me, I have to emphasize that I knew I screwed up big time and already want to box myself in the face. Still a poly student, currently serving internship. I met this one malaysian chinese girl same age as me, but was one of the many workers in the manufacturing side. i was in the IT department, and yes I admit I found her extremely attractive so I became friends with her despite knowing she has a bf ar that time

It started with some teasing, which I got abit overboard and started flirting. Eventually she also caught feelings and broke it off with her boyfriend, which made me felt somewhat distanced as I felt she could do the same to me. (As I'm more good looking, higher education, more financially well-off individually and family wise than her ex)This "office drama" eventually got big and my manager as well as the chairman knew of it. Instead of reprimanding me, they advised me to handle it responsibly and not be so 任性. So I broke the situationship off with her and began to focus fully on my work.

However, due to much stress knowing my mother getting cancer and overwhelming expectations I have for myself, I got increasingly more irritable and anger-prone these months where I did not think nor process many of my actions of what consequences they may have. With my mom getting ovarian cancer stage 4 stressing me out, and the girl in my workplace being there for me, eventually we continued talking and stated we should stay as friends. Or so we thought.

2 weeks ago, she needed help in getting some RFID reader down from the cabinet placed above which I glady helped. We found our eyes locking with each other, and she initiated the first kiss. Afterwards she began to pull me out of the FAB and close to the toilet (a secluded area where our company does not own, shared building), I got carried away and did not think much. Ended up smashing without protection in one of the toilet cabin. I got so guilty afterwards where I repeatedly apologize to her the next few days, which she assured was fine as it was mutual and that it was a mistake on both our part.

Fastforward to today, she told me that she missed her period and took a pregnancy test kit. Turns out she was pregnant. I still have two more weeks towards the end of the internship, and will be graduating in May. I know I have to take responsibility, but I have NS coming up this year as well which I do not know the dates yet, and furthermore I am not sure if I have the financial capability to do so. Despite my family being financially above average, they are worried about my mother's condition and will be furious if they knew about my mistake. My friends all said she babytrapped me, and right now IDK if my savings of 15K will be enough to help us over the tide.

To those who have shotgun marriage or early marriage in SG, please share your experiences and what I should do in this period of time.... Feeling super stressed out. Im not sure of BTO process, ROM, if she's okay without a ceremony etc....

Emotionally wise I'm even more fucked but Idk what to feel at this rate

Edit: Some of the commenters called me to do a paternity test, but I searched up online and it can only be done after about 7 weeks into pregnancy? Which I will do so but as of now I thinking of telling my parents about this first... I don't think my mom will be upset but my dad certainly will be furious-

Edit: I have asked if she really wanted to keep the baby. She does and wants me to be there for her. And I called my mother about this issue, so she will talk to my dad about it. My mom does not seem angry or upset, in fact she sounded more happy about it? And I have talked to the girl in my workplace to not tell anybody about this for now as I'm still on my internship.... Although a lot of my guy friends are advising me to abort the baby while all my female friends (2 of them) whom I told advised me to be there for her. Im in a dilemma

Edit: As I requested to do a test to see if the kid is mine, she agreed to do so when the time comes as she claimed she is a virgin. Also my dad knew what happened... He doesn't seem so angry? He is encouraging us to tie the knot and I'm thinking if I should ask her what she's gonna do on her part...

I also asked if she's okay without a wedding ceremony n she says its fine although she seems rather upset... I feel so fucking guilty but the direction just seems to be heading towards marriage for now and I honestly don't expect myself to be a dad so quickly if the kid is really mine (which most likely it is since she agreed to do the test)

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